But, if not...

Every morning I have a short devotional I read using the bible app on my phone. For the last few months, I've been using the devotions written by the ministry She Reads Truth. The devotions are written by women and for women. The topics are almost always relevant to something I'm dealing with.

The current series is on Daniel, and this morning as we reached chapter 3, some popular characters arrived on the scene: Shadrach, Meshach & Abednego (or Rack, Shack & Benny, if you prefer VeggieTale nicknames). If you grew up hearing bible stories, it's likely you've heard this one. King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold and commanded all to bow to it and worship it when the horns, harps or any kind of music was sounded. Those refusing to do so would be placed in the fiery furnace.

Being fully devoted followers, Shadrach, Meshach & Abednego refused to worship the golden image. So, of course King Nebuchadnezzar summoned them. He gave them an opportunity to deny their "crime." Here's where the story gets really good. The three friends told the king they trusted their God to deliver them from the fiery furnace and from the king's hand. Then comes verse 18: 

"But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up."

If you've heard the story before, you probably remember that God did indeed deliver these three friends from the fiery furnace and even make a believer out of King Nebuchadnezzar. But, for me, the beauty in today's passage was in verse 18. That simple phrase, "but if not..."

These three men were so devoted in their faith they didn't require a guarantee that they'd be rescued or even kept from harm for their devotion. Many times I think because I've prayed about something and I've trusted God's will on a matter that it should be all roses and sunshine. 

God never promised us this life would be easy. In fact, His word says quite the opposite through His faithful servant, Paul: "Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance." Romans 5:3. In I Peter 3:17, we read: "For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God's will, than for doing evil."

But, this is not just a post on praising Him in your suffering. This is about praising Him even if He never delivers you from that suffering. Would I have the faith to say, "But if not..." 

Dear God, 

Heal my broken-hearted friend, strengthen my sister, help people to move on, surround my struggling friend, put an end to the disappointment, honor your servants, BUT IF NOT...you are still good.

Amen

Convictions

So, I go weeks without posting and now, I'm on the verge of a third post this week. Write this down, people. It may never happen again. I guess when the spirit moves (and when Veggie Tales viewing by your 3 y/o occurs), you take advantage.

Over the course of several weeks multiple situations have caused me to reevaluate my convictions. I like to think of myself as somewhat level headed, but who knows if others share that same opinion. Maybe you just think I'm laid back. Honestly, I'm just really good at playing it cool. Recent incidents have led me to truly examine my heart and give thought, prayer and reflection to every situation before reacting. 

I think it's easy to say, "I'm staying out of it." It's harder to actually do so. I'm not a choosing sides kinda girl. In the last few months, I have developed a new (or what some may call weird) point of view on relationships. Personally, I strive to base my relationships with others on my first-hand experiences with them. I don't want to fall victim to hearsay, others spin on things or even "the real truth." Often times, we tell ourselves that being educated about others' actions protects us. To a certain extent that is true. If you have encountered a vicious animal or known predator lurking at the park where I take my children to play, I'd like to think you'd warn me.

The flip side of that is that everyone deserves to be able to represent themselves. Well, what if they misrepresent themselves, is what you'll say to me. My response would be that is a risk that I feel God has asked me to take. It's my conviction. It may not be yours, and that's okay. But, please don't assume that means I'm playing the fence. He asked me to step out on faith and love others...even the ones that are hard to love.

I will, of course, protect myself and my family, but I also want to give everyone a fair shake. In my book, no one is guilty by association. If you've been a friend to me, I want to be a friend to you. Along with that, we both must recognize that we may not share the same friends, but that doesn't mean we can't love each other and love Jesus.

In the end, we must keep perspective. These little bumps in the road, these situations that seem impossible, these encounters that appear hopeless are all just reminders that we are imperfect and this is not our home. Thankful I serve a perfect Savior. Praying I can continue to recognize the convictions He gives and embrace them.

Confession: I'm Feeling Thankful for His Hedge

Yes, tomorrow is the start of the football season for my beloved Dawgs, but this post isn't about those hedges that adorn my favorite fall Saturday hangout. If you know me, than you know that I'm certainly thankful college football season has arrived. But, today I'm feeling thankful for a different reason, and that's something one should never hide. There's too much hurt, sorrow and complaining in the world, to not share when you feel a dose of blessings. Don't get me wrong, I've hit some bumps in the road the last several hours and been surprised by His plan, but I can't help but feel thankful for God's leading.

I was sharing with my hubby last night that despite various circumstances, I felt ultimately that God had been looking out for me. Then, minutes later a friend tweeted a similar message about gratitude for God's hedge of protection. Sometimes, we don't notice that hedge until much later. But, when we do sense its presence, we suddenly realize it's always been there.

The "C" Word

It scares us. It's hard to embrace. It is almost always uncertain. That ugly "C" word...CHANGE.

Even though it can be hard, I've always managed to embrace change and find excitement in the newness of things. Moving or changing your residence can be difficult. With the exception of moving in 1st grade, each of the times I've moved, it was with great excitement about what was ahead. From my parent's home to my first apartment, which then became the first residence my husband and I shared. From that little apartment to our first home. From that first home to the one we live in now. One that was selected with the little ones in mind.

Other times it is the change from a single person to a married person or vice versa for some people very dear to me. Or changing from a couple to a family of three, four, five or more. It was exciting to change from a single woman to a wife. Despite planning, I felt poorly equipped to tackle the role of mother. I'm pretty sure most women do; it's our nature. But, even that change was one that was coupled with excitement.

The church we attend and have been members of for almost six years now, is adding an additional worship service that will differ in style from those previously offered. I must admit I've scoffed at those that find this change drastic, unimaginable or detrimental. "What's the big deal?" I think to myself. I guess because I've never really struggled much with change in my life. This seemed no different; not to mention I'll more than likely enjoy the new worship style.

So, why all this rambling about change? It's because I've met my struggle, people, and it's name is kindergarten. Honestly, it's probably a whole host of other things I have going on. Why does everything start up at the same time? It's like we're all blissfully enjoying summer with hot days running through the sprinkler, picnics with friends, movies at the drive-in, popcorn for breakfast, long summer nights, popsicles on the porch after dinner, catching lightning bugs in the yard and then BAM! Hello, early mornings, socially acceptable breakfasts, lunch packing, homework, football practice, bible study, awana, exhaustion and reasonable bedtimes.

Getting moving in the morning was a lot easier when it meant just making it to preschool by 9 a.m. I'm having more than a little trouble embracing the new normal, which is alarms, waking blissfully sleeping children, and often times grumbling. I know we've had it good. I'm not complaining. I'm just revealing my current struggle, friends.

I looked up the definition for change:

to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone

That first part seemed to make sense. I'd heard it before. Change is making something different from what it is, but that second part jumped out to me. It's also making things different from what they would be if left alone, altering its future course. Perhaps it's my faith in an incredible God, but I have to believe that change is necessary. If things were left alone, those early morning snuggles watching Curious George wouldn't be so precious in my memory now. I'd have little reason to look forward to Saturdays.

Just as change is inevitable and necessary, so is growth. As much as I loathe these early mornings and long afternoons waiting to pick up big brother, I believe God has something in store. Praying He keeps showing me ways to celebrate this new season of change.

Confessions

I like the idea of blogging more than the actual doing it. Yesterday, I took a nap. It was a pretty glorious 30 minutes, too. I also cleaned out my closet yesterday. I have enough clothes to go without repeating for probably at least a year, but I'm pretty sure I wear the same dozen outfits over and over. Time to let go of some things. While purging and straightening my closet, I caught a glimpse of my tall riding boots. I longed for fall, albeit for a brief moment, this lover of long summer nights and minimally scheduled days wished for cooler weather. I'm a little freaked out about my oldest starting kindergarten in about a month! Seriously, where did the time go. No more morning snuggles and waltzing out the door to 9 a.m. preschool. Several times of day I think of a really great subject to blog about, but I rarely log on and commit. I've had s'mores twice this week. Anything you want to confess?

Still here...I think

As usual after a more than brief hiatus from posting, I'm not sure where to start. I have dozens of posts floating around in my head and never enough time to commit them to print. So, this may be a bit of a rambling of sorts, but I guess you are used to those if you follow the blog with any regularity. And, if you do, I'm sorry for being MIA. I'm thinking that's sort of a good description, no disrespect to my military families, but I've been in a state of constant action for some time now.

When someone asks how things are going or what you've been up to, do you ever reply, "we've just been busy." I feel like that's become a too often used response for me. And lately, I feel like I must have been misusing it previously. I'm relying on my calendar so much to get me to the right place at the right time these days. I'm still managing to find my way to the shower each morning without a reminder...you can thank me later.

I've heard dozens of speeches and read more than a handful of blog posts about busyness, time management, etc. in the past. I give my husband a hard time for never telling people no, but this time I'm finding myself over extended. I tried following the one major commitment and one minor commitment rule of thumb. I was asked a few months ago to serve on our church's Pastor Search Committee. I had to do some serious praying about it, especially since I'd heard it had taken the previous committee three years to call the outgoing pastor. God reassured me that He'd take care of all the little details, and I shouldn't worry about things that hadn't even happened yet. I humbly accepted the nomination. We've begun meeting weekly, I was recently named the secretary. I think it's safe to say this is my major commitment.

And, I'm okay with that. I'm already experiencing a tremendous amount of spiritual growth from my time spent in prayer with the team God assembled. I know that I have skills that lend themselves well to the role of secretary, and those weren't given to me by accident.

My problem is with the minor commitments. They're sneaking up on me, and all at once. There's organizing crafts for 4 dozen preschoolers and kindergarteners for VBS in two months. I know that seems like a long way away, but that's a lot of stuff to cut, prep, etc. Or managing website/facebook pages for a couple of ministries that I'm involved in. Or deciding it'd be no big deal to throw a party in the midst of t-ball season. I love each and every one of these projects and on their own they are minor commitments, but together they are making my head a jumbled mess...not to mention my kitchen!

I keep thinking this is temporary, but I have to remember that as much as I want to help people and be involved in the ministries I love, if I can't give them appropriate attention then I'm really doing them a disservice. Sometimes you have to step back and pray. God may have someone else in mind to aid these ministries, but I'm too busy hoarding all the opportunities. So, all this is really to allow me to process my own thoughts that have been swirling for a couple of weeks. Obviously, blogging has taken a backseat to all my busyness. Not just writing, but reading too! It disappoints me when I don't make time for blogging. It's one of my favorite things.

So, be patient with me. I'm reorganizing my priorities, my brain and my time. Thanks for coming along for the ride.

Letting Go

This week marks 23 months for our little guy Sam. Josh reminded me this weekend that when Jack was this age, we were making preparations for Sam and most certainly treating Jack like a big boy, not a baby. Of course, when compared to a four-year-old, Sam is definitely still a baby, right??

All around the house I'm noticing things that make me wonder if I'm resisting this little one's leap into full-blown boyhood. Take the highchair for instance. Sam has long claimed a spot at the table with the rest of the family. I convinced Sam to sit in it a couple of weeks ago to eat a container of applesauce, but mostly he'd rather play musical chairs at the kitchen table and try out each location...including sometimes "Daddy seat! Mommy seat!" I can recall sequestering the same high chair to the basement for several months back when Jack graduated to the table, and Sam was not quite ready to enjoy its utility. This time moving it down to the basement storage is a little more like letting go.

Or what about that stack of bibs occupying space in one of the kitchen cabinets? Sam pretty much refuses to wear one these days. In fact, I can't remember the last time I managed to convince him to sport one. Yet I still can't manage to relocate them or pass them along to a new owner. It's too much like letting go.

How about the not one, but two, diaper champs we own? There's one in our bathroom and another up in Sam's room. I quit using them to house dirty diapers ages ago, and then wet ones quite a long time ago too! These days the diapers typically go straight out to the trash can. The diaper champs became one more thing I forgot to empty the day before trash pick-up. Of course, I check them every now and then these days in case the babysitter or the grandparents actually drop a diaper in, which does occasionally happen. But isn't that just further evidence that I should put them away? Nope, I guess that would be letting go.

It's letting go, because this time there is no baby on the way that will soon call the highchair back into action or needing those bibs to catch pureed carrots, squash and peas or soiling close to a dozen diapers a day to fill those diaper champs. I don't want this post to look like a sob story, it's merely a collection of my observations as I see these things in my house each day. Our family of four is quite a happy crew. So, don't mistake my ramblings as the yearnings for a new addition. I have no doubt I'll see plenty of comments along the lines of, "it's just time to have another one." I already routinely field the question: "I guess it's time to try for a little girl now, right?" The thing is I don't want to have another baby just because I'm sad that my youngest is about to turn two. I mean when would it end? It just doesn't seem like the best way to determine if we're ready to grow our family again.

I don't know what the good Lord has planned, but I know He will help me let go when the time is right...hopefully, before Sam leaves for kindergarten!

2012

What a way to start 2012...behind! I feel so behind in one of my favorite things...blogging! Hopefully you weren't worried. We're still alive and kicking. I just did a marathon photo editing and uploading to my Picasa albums so I'm hoping to get several blog posts up in the next couple of days...some of which will probably be post dated (for my sanity only). I just hate seeing them all clumped together under the same date on the blog! ha ha!

P.S. Can anyone recommend a good blogger app for the iPad??

We interrupt...

this blog for a cold, cough, sinus, congestion, etc. that just won't go away. Yes, my boys love me so much that they share everything with me including their yucky germs. The glamor began when we were at Amelia Island, as Josh was concluding his first week of the often called "crud." I was much better at convincing myself I wasn't sick when we at the beach. Once we were back, there was no denying that Mama was indeed sick.Over the course of the last two weeks, I can count a half dozen times when I felt like I was about to turn the corner. Then, the sinuses came and got involved on Friday.

So, although the show has gone on around here as usual, I've not really been capturing many photographs. Not to mention that I managed to misplace my camera's memory card. So, hopefully we'll be back on track here soon!!

What time is it?

So, we gained an extra hour this weekend. I was really excited when I went to bed Saturday night knowing it wasn't really as late as the clock said it was. Even the kids did okay, sleeping until the new 7:15. I guess it helped that we kept them up until halftime of the Bama/LSU game. Somehow Sam even managed to stay awake on the way home from church Sunday morning. We survived that first day.

Today has been a bit of a different story. While Sam kept with his 7:15 waking, Jack was up at 6:40, which is not sooo bad except everyone was falling apart much earlier today than normal. So, naptime came a little earlier today. Then, after 3 hours passed without a peep, I began to worry I'd never get them to sleep tonight. Reluctantly I woke them both up at 4:30. So, although the clock says it's 9:45...I feel like it's 11. Usually, it's the little ones that have the worst time with the time change, but I think it's hit me the hardest. I'm not used to being so zonked at 9:30!

I know my body will eventually get used to it, but I may just buck my weekly tradition of staying up ridiculously late to get caught up and call it a night or at least try to free up some space on the dvr, wouldn't want to get too crazy now!

Hip, hip, hurra!

That's German for hip, hip, hooray! I'm super stoaked because my sweet, dear sister got a job offer at the elementary school on base where she and her hubby are stationed in Germany. They've been there just over a year, and she worked previously with youth until she had to come back to the U.S. suddenly last spring because of an illness. She's all better now and has been hoping to get back into the classroom where she feels at home! While she won't have her own classroom, she'll be working as a teacher's assistant in a Kindergarten class. She taught Kindergarten for two years here before moving to Germany. I think being back in her comfort zone, working with kids will go a long way to making Germany feel a lot less far away from home.

While I'm on the subject of my sister, she's recently embraced her inner-craftiness. I introduced her to Pinterest. And, while I'm one of those who lurks and constantly pins, she actually tries the stuff she finds. She recently gave her dining room wall a makeover. If you want to see, take a look. Since I have preschoolers that consume most of my patience, I won't be attempting a project like this anytime soon. I am, however, trying out my big cupcake pan for the first time. So, if it's not a complete disaster, maybe I'll let you know how it goes!

All in a day's work

It's no piece of cake being at home with two young boys, but we do our best to make it fun. I've yet to master the art to getting it all done. Although, I'm hoping since preschool started today, I'll have a fighting chance to at least have my kitchen floor stay clean for longer than 4 hours.

Sometimes I get little glimpses into God's plan for my life. Like yesterday when I sat in the floor and put together a train track so two boys could watch a motorized train go round and round. Or anytime I stop laundering, sweeping, emailing or fixing juice long enough to sit down and read a book with a sweet listener in my lap.

As I sat there assembling that train track I thought, "this is exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now! How many other folks can count train track assembly among their list of duties at work?" Granted, there are probably a few who are overjoyed train track assembly isn't in their job responsibilities.

Of course, along with the fun of playing "engineer" is the delight of playing referee between two boys who must have the same exact Lightning McQueen even though there are at least three others just like it. There is the joy of doling out punishments for pushing or hair pulling. There are the highly anticipated trips to the grocery store with impatient toddlers. Not to mention the glamorous diaper changing, snotty nose wiping, cleaning soured milk from sippy cups and scraping dried oatmeal from a myriad of locations.

So, yeah, it's no walk in the park, but the truth is we get to go to the park! Pretty much whenever we want to! In this business, the benefits outweigh the negatives. Between storytime at the library and tying on our superhero capes, it's all in a day's work!

Little Things

Today I was thankful for a few of the little things.

• Ingles in Cornelia now has the 2-seater carts. This may seem silly, but I've driven to the Ingles in Clarkesville on a number of occasions just for those carts. Now, I can go wherever is closer with no cart differences!
• One of my favorite shows is back! Hoarders premieres tonight. Josh thinks I like it because it makes me feel better about my pack rat tendencies, but I feel the opposite. After watching it, I often want to throw things away knowing that these folks must have lived normally at some point. It's encouragement to get rid of things!
• Fun countdowns! Cars 2 premieres in just 3 days. I've got a sitter lined up for baby brother, and we're headed to the movies Friday night! Super Wal-Mart opens in just over a week. Talk about exciting!!

From Woe to Woah...and everything in between

I've missed blogging so much these past couple weeks. I have lots to catch up on here, and my ultimate plan will probably include post-dating some entries over the next few days. So, what's been keeping me from blogging? That's the worst part, it's been normal stuff.

Part of it probably had to do with traveling to Chattanooga three out of four weekends. The most recent trip to honor and celebrate the life of Josh's uncle. As hectic as those weekends were, we value the precious time we were given to catch up with family we don't get to see all that often.

Then last Sunday night, Sam woke up overnight with a fever and the sick cycle began. After 36 hours of fever off and on and an unusually cuddly baby, he seemed to bounce back with a returned appetite on Tuesday afternoon. Although it seemed to begin rather routinely, Wednesday morning is a total blur. Within an hour or two of waking up, Jack was falling asleep while watching Super Why. I can't say I was surprised to find him running a fever. I dosed him with motrin and raced to grab a shower knowing I was in for another mopey, clingy day. I dried off just in time to witness Jack having a febrile seizure. It was his first ever, and even though I knew what it probably was, I was spooked. After a visit from the local EMS, he began to perk up. Needless to say, it was a low-key, lay-on-the-couch kinda day for Jack. By Thursday afternoon, we'd figured out he had strep, and he'd turned a big corner by Friday afternoon. But the cycle wasn't over yet, Josh developed fever and an intense headache during the night Thursday. So, Friday was spent trying to stay out of dad's hair and allow him to rest. He finally started feeling a little better Saturday evening.

Playing nurse had me exhausted. I was able to get lots of laundry done, but didn't make it to get groceries until today. No surprise, we've had an unhealthy share of carry-out, fast food & quick-fix meals over the last couple of weeks. My house is of course a wreck as well.

This week has been about getting back on track, and the blog is no exception. I've been having trouble keeping straight what day of the week it is. My Monday night bible study has concluded for the year, which always signaled the start of the week. With the boys being sick, we missed the last day of school and the end-of-the-year program. Then this week, the boys and I went to Athens Monday afternoon to spend the night with my parents. The trip allowed me, my sister and brother to have dinner together, just the three of us. A rare treat, indeed...especially now that my sister lives in Germany. Jack had an early morning dental appointment Tuesday morning that went really well. Then we headed home. So, if you see me around town, do me a favor and remind me what day it is. There's a good chance that I have no idea.

The Good Old Days...

While waiting at a local establishment this week, I was thumbing through a somewhat depressing selection of magazines*. One of which was called Reminisce, the magazine that brings back the good times. From what I can gather it is filled almost entirely with reader submissions. Mainly old photos and stories from the "good ole days." Since this was a holiday edition, there was a section of nostalgic Christmas-themed advertisements. One in particular from 1928 caught my eye. I couldn't help but share.

Okay, so in case you can't tell. There are three very lucky children playing billards in their pajamas by the Christmas tree, while mom & pop (dressed as Santa) watch from the nearby staircase. The photo is cute and all, but the entertainment came in the form of the sales pitch:

The Brunswick Junior Playmate Pocket Billard Table is the best juvenile Christmas investment you can make. Children and grown-ups alike, all love games. In Billards you have one that affords healthful recreation...mental and muscular coordination...endless, tireless amusement...all-year, all-weather play.


It gives parents added control over the children by making hte home more attractive...thus keeping them within the family circle during their most formative and impressionable years. Every member of the family will enjoy the game...and Billards is easy to learn.


The Junior Playmate is strong...sturdily constructed...of quality materials. Children won't drop it in a week like a cheap toy but will play on it for years...and only $7.50 complete with all playing equipment.

"The best juvenile Christmas investment?" Good to know.
"Healthful recreation?" Sign me up!
"Mental and muscular coordination?" Sounds like a win-win.
"Added control over the children?" I must remember this...

According to this site, this same product might cost around $94.56 these days. Not as big a bargain, but for the ability to make my home more attractive during my children's "most formative and impressionable years." Sounds like "the best juvenile Christmas investment" to me! Hope you got a kick out of this too!

*When I shared this photo and story with Josh, he told me that his office waiting area has the very same magazine. I must remember to drop off my old issues of Entertainment Weekly and BHG.

Taking Notice

What better way to summarize a few funny, quirky and obviously random thoughts than a sharing them in a list of things I've noticed in the last couple of days!

• I realized today that almost every time I reach the final bite of a peanut butter & jelly sandwich, I wish there was another! PB&J just hits the spot sometimes.
• I shutter and shift between pride and sadness when I pick up on Jack saying something correctly that he previously said incorrectly. You moms know exactly what I mean...those mis-sayings are some of their most precious creations. Just like how he says, "I do it my by self!" I almost never correct these slip-ups because they are so endearing. Just last night at dinner, he asked after he finished if he could have a "ba-zert?" It melted my heart, and he of course got a reese's cup shortly thereafter! :)
• How can it be SO much more fun to cook for 240 people than for 4? I guess it doesn't hurt when you've got a fun group of girlfriends gathered in the kitchen to work alongside!

Stay tuned for many more random thoughts!

raNdOm tHouGhTs

A few of my random thoughts & observations from today:

• The Tuesday morning following a Monday holiday (ie. Memorial Day or Labor Day) is probably not the best time to try to buy hamburger buns at the grocery store. Guess we won't be having burgers tonight. (Update: Wal-Mart came through for me! And, we had the most delicious bacon cheddar burgers!)
• How insane would people think you are if you jump into the Sara Lee truck (spotted in the parking lot while leaving the bun-less grocery store) and look for hamburger buns? For the record, I did not do this...only thought about it!
• What is weirder? The fact that the little old lady working at the nail salon was wearing white pants the day after Labor Day or the fact that they were baseball pants? (And, yes, I'm sure. I saw the "Bike" logo and could tell by the reinforced areas on the knees.)

• I can't imagine there is a cuter firefighter in this world.

raNdOm tHouGhTs

a few random thoughts I had today:

• Is it divine intervention when the last bit of aluminum foil on the roll is the exact size you needed?
• I love wrapping paper with the grids on the inside! Why is this not a requirement? Is there some sort of gift wrap regulation board I should contact?
• Wonder how long it takes for a half-eaten banana to begin smelling? (After finding one on the ottoman in the living room once the boys were in bed tonight.)
• How many pairs of Toms are too many? (I totally heart their comfort and versatility.)
• Is it weird that TLC followed 'Say Yes to the Dress' with a show called 'Left at the Altar?'
• Do I spend too much time on FaceBook? Or reading blogs? Nah, sometimes they are my only shot at adult interaction in a day. (I usually have a way of convincing myself of what I want to hear...)